Monday, 20 October 2008

I'm Expensive

We had a phone call from the district nurses this morning, Apparently all the confusion last week was our fault. We're not quite sure how but it certainly wasn't their fault. We didn't give them the dates or rather we didn't make sure they had written them down. And they are very busy and can't just pop round at my beck and call. And no we can't organise for my usual carers to do the job, I'm under nursing care. Oh, and my care package is very expensive as it is.

“Not as expensive as it would be if I walked out on him,” said Polly through gritted teeth. Which sort of answers a question asked of me by 'ameenab` in the comments for 'Wee`ll Meet Again`. He or she (I'm sorry 'ameenab', I really don't know) wrote -

I've been reading your blog for a while now. I have MD too and it's really helpful for me to read your stories.

One thing that gets me though - why don't you use live-in care? I have used 24 hour live-in PAs, directed by me, for ten years. I would never go back to having to go to the toilet and go to bed only when the care staff turn up. OK, so it's a bit weird having someone around all the time, but you get used to it. And the point is that you can ask them to leave you alone if you want to because you are in charge.

Your care needs are far higher than mine so I don't understand why you don't have a 24 hr package. Is this postcode lottery at work or do you just not want it?

I'm married. It is assumed by all that my beloved will meet my needs and be my live-in care. She is presumed to be my P.A., my 24 hours-a-day care package. The fact that we have two children and she works is barely taken into consideration. Polly was quite taken by the idea of live-in help but can't think where they would do the live-in part. I saw her eyeing up the shed.

I'm not sure what would happen if I insisted on a P.A. If Polly withdrew her 'care'. If. I married her because I loved her, not because I needed a carer. I still love her but I recognise I need more help than I did 15 years ago. I need a carer, yes, but l want a wife more.

Of course, there are advantages to being married to your primary carer. I have two children.


  1. Stephen, you do make me smile (and sometimes even laugh out loud!)!! I have only been reading your blog for a few weeks since I found you on Facebook, but I am gradually catching up with the archives. There are so many little comments that show you have not lost any of your sense of humour, such as the aside that there are advantages to being married to your primary carer!

    Your posts are so funny and the fact that they are being written by someone who has so much to feel frustrated and angry about makes them all the more poignant. Keep on making us laugh!

    Thank you for being so honest, and insightful.

    Many blessings on you, Polly and the children. Brian Smith

  2. Of course...those that know you well know the live like a Sultan whilst your poor wife struggles on her hands and knees to serve your every whim (at least that's what the people who actually provide your care have been told....why do you think they are being so flaming awkward).

    Do you know have a case to be provided with bigger accomodation! I have nursed people who live on their own that have castles compared to the size of your cribb....surely a family of four with need of more consitent care could do with a few more bedrooms.

    Worth asking...although it is rather nice 'round your way'

    As Ringo would say.."Peace and Love, Peace and Love"


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