Watch The Birdie

Once again Polly and I dragged ourselves over the speed-bump strewn roads of South London for me to attend the Lind clinic at the Royal Brompton Hospital. Once there, and having located one of the rare and obscenely expensive parking spaces, Polly vanished to have coffee with a clown doctor friend who lives conveniently nearby, pointing out that she hadn't taken a day off from working in a hospital to spend it sitting in another hospital, especially as she wasn't being paid. I sat reading and patiently went through the whole blood-letting experience so my blood gases could be analysed. Sometime later I was seen by a stereotypically efficient German doctor who informed me that my CO2 levels had fallen satisfactorily and that they won't need to see me again for a whole year. Polly reappeared and we stop-started our way back through the London rush hour just in time to take Sam to his first ever Beavers meeting.

I am, of course, delighted that all that faffing about in March when I had to stay at the RBH has paid off and that the changes of masks and BiPap settings have achieved what they set out to do, namely make me feel better. It is a slightly unsettling experience to be in a position where at least one aspect of my condition is improving rather than spiralling ever downwards. It is my ambition to confound all those health professionals who anticipate the worse. Viva Stephen!

On a completely different subject altogether, Polly, as you may remember if you have been paying attention, has spent months renovating my sisters house in Surrey while my sister runs what's left of the global oil industry. The house is still looking for a tenant and has a couple of agencies squabbling over who should manage the property. Last week we got a phone call from one of them to say that a bird had flown down the chimney and expired in the living room. “It's made a bit of a mess, “ they said. Sighing, Polly made her way to the house armed with some cleaning equipment to discover just how much mess a trapped magpie can make. It turns out that it makes a lot. She phoned me to say that the house looked like a scene from CSI Surrey. “What should I do with the. . . er. . . body?” she asked. I suggested she put it in a plastic bag. It was only on the way home that Polly realised the irony. She'd interred the magpie in a Sainbury's Bag for Life.

Until next time.