Say it Loud

A man walks into a chip shop with a cod tucked under his arm.

“Do you sell fish cakes?”, he asked.

“Of course we do,” said the proprietor.

“Oh good," said the man. “It's his birthday.”

Tomorrow is the little ones birthday. He's going to be 4. Last Saturday we had his birthday party: he shared it with a little girl from nursery., L The theme was Bugs and Butterflies and everyone came with wings and multiple legs. S went in yellow and black stripes, antenna and wings. I thought he was a bee but he insisted he was actually a wasp. The party went really well. Polly did the entertainment and L`s mum Becky hosted the party and provided the wholesome, nutritious food traditionally associated with four year old`s birthday parties. S, who had been counting the days down to the party since Christmas, returned home laden with gift wrapped packages. “Look,” he exclaimed. ”They gave me presents!”

The presents were opened with the help of another girl friend, G. While Polly frantically tried to write down who gave him what, S tore into the gift wrapping with abandon to reveal his haul. There were books, craft kits, a paint your own piggy bank, a recorder and action figures. Oh yes, and a megaphone. That's right, a megaphone: And not just one that amplifies the voice. Oh no. This one amplifies the voice AND distorts it. How much must the parents of the child who gave it to S hate us. What have we done to them that they should take such revenge? Did I accidentally run over their kitten? Don't get me wrong, it was very generous of them, and S loves it. Unfortunately so do all the children who visit.

So thank you dear friends. I'm off to buy your child a kettle drum.